I Forget Sometimes...

So far, I’ve spent almost 1.5 hours travelling to work this morning, dropping my baby off in school an hour ahead of class (not my fault, she was excited to go!), and about three hours of non-stop work seated in my desk with a few walks to my boss’ office and a few ankle and wrists stretches. Its been four hours since I heard from my lady (too excited for school). Probably, when class started at 8am, she forgot to send me a message about her morning snack. But that’s good. Focus on class, not the mobile phone.

And that’s what I’ve been doing as well: focusing on work, too busy to inform my lady that I miss her and I can’t wait to be with her at the end of another long productive day at work. I won’t blame it on anything. No “I have to work” clause to blame. I just didn’t keep in touch. I was too busy. Work is good. It doesn’t deserve the blame. Her class is good as well. I shouldn’t blame school as to why I don’t know how she’s doing. We’re just not keeping intouch.

----------
Over the weekend, I read a newspaper article wherein the author shared a recent experience. He was walking in the mall enjoying time with his wife, completely refreshed after a workout in the gym. The couple was happy to have such a great day together amidst their busy schedules over the past week, months, and years. It was freedom in the city. They could eat anywhere they wanted. Go where they pleased. I assume that they could even watch The Incredible Hulk at any time of the day when they felt comfortable to watch the latest flick.

Then his associate gave him a call. “Oh, excuse me, Honey. I’ll just take this call.”

“Hello?”

“Hello, Francis. Where are you? The participants have been waiting for half an hour already.”

It was then that he remembered about a speaking engagement set for his supposed to be Date With Mommy day. It was an event scheduled months earlier. An event he also diligently prepared for months ahead.
----------

Was he doing anything wrong? Of course not. Could you hate a guy for going out with his wife? Nope. Could you hate a guy for being so in-demand with speaking engagements? No, he’s a talented man. Nothing wrong with all parties concerned.

I make these simple mistakes more often than I notice. I accept my shortcomings fully aware that there are still some hurts that I’ve inflicted on my Baby Angel’s heart that she just let pass. Though they’re sincerely forgiven (I hope), it stresses that I’m still “too busy” more often. She doesn’t hate my work (I hope) and she in fact is the reason why I’m happy with what I do for a living.

The standard work-day runs for nine hours inclusive of the one-hour lunchbreak that also happens inside my cubicle. Still, its expected of me to deliver what’s expected. And I’m even challenging myself to meet my personal targets at work. The gym has taught me to push myself to the limit; something that I understand must be done physically, mentally, financially, and emotionally. All in good ways shempre.

I’m writing this note to save it and be viewed on a later time. I couldn’t SMS my better half knowing that she’s busy with school activities, which is good. But my free time is now. I could delay work a little since its my lunchbreak. So I’m being productive by writing this down.

I’m not perfect. I forget to send sweet messages to her when I want to and when she wants me to. In fact, this message isn’t enough to make up for the moments when I was suplado to her because I was busy --No--because I forgot to be sweet. Work has nothing to do with it. And school doesn’t have anything to do with it either. I should be sweet when I want to, which is basically 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Sweetness doesn’t come in messages or phone calls. It could come in other ways such as how I work, how I think, and how I act.

Just like Francis, Francis and I couldn’t blame other stuff. He cannot blame the mall. Or make up something like blame the traffic. I couldn’t blame my workload. I couldn’t blame my business cutthroat environment.

We both just forgot. Its my fault and I want to make up for it as much as I could by living life because of, for, and with her; that I’m truly the Kim who loves Jackie more than what we both would ever know.

Time to send an SMS to my baby. Its her lunchbreak in school right now.